America Ball Land: All the president's emails as seen by Oliver Burkeman

In a unique experiment in democratic transparency, Barack Obama - a BlackBerry owner, and the first American president to use email while in office - has agreed to copy G2 in on his otherwise highly confidential electronic communications. Each week, we present a selection from recent days: As seen by Oliver Burkeman

05.14 Mon, Jul 13

To: VPOTUS [joe.biden@whitehouse.gov]
Subject: Re: Dude, you met the frickin' POPE? OMFG!!!

To address your points in order:

1. Yes, he's a head of state and so am I. It's not really that weird. Sometimes I think you forget we're running the world's most powerful country here! Or, you know, I am. You're probably shopping for motorbike parts on the internet or something.

2. Whether or not it's true that "Old Grandma Biden would have choked on her communion wafer to know her son's boss had met the frickin' POPE", I appreciate the underlying sentiment.

3. Yes, I have bought you a little trinket from the Vatican City. It's a snow globe featuring a figurine of St Catherine. Tacky, but I reckon you'll like it. To answer the question in your forthcoming email, no, her clothes do not come off when you turn it upside down.

Later, BHO

To: Muammar Gadafy [bigman@tripolionline.net]
Subject: Re: Buddies with the US president once again - so happy!

No, it is not IN ANY WAY like that episode of Friends in which Rachel and Monica fall out over a horrible misunderstanding over an engagement present but then everyone makes up at the end and they're better friends than ever before. It's more like that episode of Friends where Barack Obama shakes Gadafy's hand out of unavoidable diplomatic necessity, because he's the head of the African Union, then avoids interacting with him where possible, except when protocol dictates, because the reaction's so negative back home. I don't think that episode's been shown outside the US yet. Watch out for it!

Barack

To: David Axelrod [david@davidaxelrod.com]
Subject: Re: Palin's shock resignation, possibly gearing up for 2012 run ...

Oh my goodness I can't wait to see this. Can we send a few thousand dollars of campaign funding her way? I wouldn't want to stand in the way of democracy. BHO

To: Silvio Berlusconi [silvio@forza-italia.it]
Subject: Re: When in Rome, *wink wink*! Am I right? Ha! Am I? Am I? Ha ha! Am I? I am! Am I?

Actually I was distracted by a sudden thought about single-payer healthcare and insurance-premium reduction initiatives. My head just moves in that direction when I'm thinking, and she just happened to be passing. Anyway, I don't care if you don't believe me, please just stop phoning the executive residence to propose "a lads' night out at Spearmint Rhino in Siena, just me and you and Nicolas, whaddya say?" Not interested, thanks, and I'm sick of explaining the calls to Michelle.

Sincerely, Barack